The first word in my last commentary was VISION. The article (see January 2008 Newsletter archives at www.kituku.com) keyed on an incident that took place 1978 as we, four of my high school classmates and I, prepared for our final exams and decided to have a photo taken. As we kneed down to pose for the photo, we said we needed to point towards the direction of the University of Nairobi. One student, who had excelled in previous exams, didn’t point. He was the only one who didn’t achieve the grades needed for the next level.

I can only speak or write of what gave me, a previously recognized underperforming student, the hope to know I could make it to the Nairobi University. What gave me the courage to publicly indicate that I believed I was heading to that coveted institute of higher learning where less than 10% of high school students were admitted?

It was a vision imprinted in my mind by a simple action by my father. In January 1975, the results for the high admission were released. My brother and I had scored acceptable grades. Yet, what our father did thereafter changed my life forever. He took us to the gates of the University of Nairobi and said, "My children that is where men and women come to get knives to cut their portion of the national cake." Those words were and still remain the greatest call for action that I have ever heard.

Some background knowledge is necessary for you to understand the impact of those words in my life. I had spent six years in three primary school grades. My father had spanked me until my lack of improvement made him give up the ritual that he performed whenever I brought my mediocre grades home.

That past was eternally changed with a vision of going, "…where men and women get knives to cut their portion of the national cake." It gave me a clear picture of the life I could have regardless of the academic abilities I had portrayed. It gave something to look up to beyond the high school years. It created a sense of purpose that has a specific destiny.

It has been said that, "hard work beats talent when talent is not working hard." I opened and kept my books open. It is hard to recall more than two or three days that ever passed without opening a book. During holidays, I used to hide in one of my primary school classrooms to study, either what we had learned in class or what was to be covered. I gravitated towards classmates who were academic sharp shooters.

Looking back, that vision impacted on a high school bound mind, provided the road map needed for a future that was not yet thoroughly envisioned. Six years later I entered through the gate of the University of Nairobi.

I now know and believe that without that vision, it would have been second to impossible to succeed given the devastating experiences that I (and my family) went through. I removed my sister's drowned body from a river in August 1975, a year after my brother died of measles. My grandfather died a year later followed by the death of my last dog a week later. My father married, divorced and re-married three times. In my father's territory all wives and their children lived in the same house, cooked and ate from the same tray—a life experience that is better left for eternal healing. My beloved uncle who was a grade ahead of me in high school and who I shared an apartment with and my close friend destroyed their lives with alcohol and drugs.
 

Vincent at his graduation with his father (right) and two uncles
 

To succeed in today's workplace and in your personal life, you need more than goals, smarts or top technological tools. You must be passionate, highly motivated, and focused in every aspect of your organization. The competitive nature of the business world dictates that people must produce results in a fast changing marketplace for them and/or their organization to remain relevant. Individuals and their organization must be proactive in order to focus on measurable performance and eradicate frustration, stress and crisis. Dr. Kituku's and Mr. McClain's work-life strategies help people bring balance back to their lives. They learn how to develop and leverage a personal vision that not only takes their work performance to new heights but also discover important strategies of creating an extraordinary quality of life.

Here is a sample of some of the key tools that you will learn in this seminar and use immediately in major aspects of your work and life:
 

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Reading books or attending seminars and lectures could never teach me as much about loving my wife as I learned in a few hours in the labor room in July of 1996.

The practice of men being in the labor room at the birth a child was inconceivable in the Kamba culture of my youth. In some African cultures, husbands left homesteads as midwives were arriving, only to return a few days after the child was born. In other cultures, men didn’t have to leave for days, but couldn’t be in the house where birthing was in process.

We learned about the practice of husbands being in the labor room after we arrived in Laramie, Wyoming in 1986. This was hard to fathom. Some of my friends opted to leave the USA just before their baby was born rather than go through the process.

For my wife and me, it wasn’t a major decision when we were expecting our second child, who was the first child to be born in America. We both knew our culture and held to it. This was not different when our next child was born. Besides, I had moved to Boise, Idaho and left my wife in Wyoming to complete her undergraduate program.

By the time we were expecting our fourth child, my wife had converted to the American way—she needed her man in the labor room. After her first doctor’s visit, she came home and said I was supposed to be with her in the labor room. I asked if I could talk to the doctor, but my request was adamantly declined.

The birthing classes were my window for what awaited me. The instructor, Trish, a great teacher and presenter, couldn’t be more explicit. The detailed information, even about how to breathe and her manner of presentation, humbled me. During the second class, the instructor assured me that I would probably pass out. However, my wife was more sympathetic, and she told me I could stay home if I didn’t have the nerve to go through the real experience. Playing tough, I affirmed to my wife that I wasn’t turning back.

I am eternally glad I toughed it out. For ten hours, I stroked my wife’s hand, gave her ice cubes or called the nurse during the arduous birthing of our son, Kithetheesyo. That single morning I learned more about my wife’s inner strength and resolve. I learned that nature is tailored to teach me to love.

From that day, my wife is not just the mother of my children and not just a casual friend whom I gave a shoulder to lean on. Those hours taught me that she is a part of me that I see when I look at our children. She is a special person with whom we toughed nature’s combatant together at the moment she needed me most. That same moment, I learned that caring for someone is different from caring about someone.

I regret now that I wasn’t there when my other three children were born. Being there to welcome your child into this world, witness that child’s first cry and help cover that child with something warm is a passage rite. You can never be the same again.
 

If results are important to you, then
Dr Vincent Muli Kituku is the speaker/trainer for your group.
Call (208) 376-8724, or email Vincent directly at Vincent@kituku.com

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